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Conservatism for Profit

UPDATE: The New York Times profiles Fox News’s Paranoid-in-Chief, Roger Ailes; click here.

Face it, folks, we’ve been Murdoched.

He told us he would do it, and he has.

Australian-born media mogul Rupert Murdoch, now a naturalized U.S. citizen, has pulled off an incredibly daring stunt, highjacking democracy for the sake of his own fat wallet.

He figured out how to commercialize politics—to simply make money off it.

He’s done it here the same as he did in Australia and Britain. We knew in advance what his agenda was. He doesn’t have to win elections (indeed, he cozied up bigtime to Hillary Clinton in 2008, when he thought she might win the presidency—and she cozied up to him). Regardless of who wins elections, he makes billions of dollars by giving people what they want: the Old Regime. The Way Things Usedta Be.

What amazes me is the stupidity of American politicians and traditional news organizations, who cower before the Mighty Mouse.

Fox “News” sets the national agenda, by serving up a steady diet of outrages, lies and innuendoes. When the outrages (say, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner’s coddling AIG and Goldman Sachs) run thin, Murdoch’s minions simply invent more. “No global warming! Obama wasn’t born in Hawai’i! Death panels, socialized medicine, Hitler, Stalin!”

The politicians and media whores don’t know what hit them. Glenn Beck’s on the cover of Time magazine!

Tea parties, orchestrated by discredited Republicans like Dick Armey. Terrorism, thanks to a wannabe Muslim fanatic over Detroit! Obama isn’t protecting us, because he’s a foreign-born Muslim/Nazi/Commie who attended a madrassa in Indonesia!

This is Murdoch’s schtick. He doesn’t care about facts and neither do his followers. They gladly pay for their spoonfed phony “news.”

Sarah Palin is dumber than a bag of rocks, an ex-beauty queen who doesn’t even read the newspaper—but then, neither does anyone else, thanks to pay-TV and pay-Internet, “where everything is free.”

Go Google yourself. In the immortal words of Perry Mason, Sarah Palin is incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial.

Yet the poor ink-stained wretches still don’t know what hit them. The New York Times recently admitted no one on the staff monitors Fox “News,” so it was constantly behind the curve in understanding what’s going on in the country.

In the runup to the illegal invasion of Iraq, NBC News execs told their reporters not to question the Bush Administration’s flimsy rationales (“weapons of mass destruction!”), and the dumbfucks did what they were told. Questioning the president was unpatriotic, ya see. Nine-eleven and all that.

No matter what happens in the world, good news or bad, Murdoch profits. He figured out long ago that facts don’t matter to people nearly as much as confirming their previous worldview. People will pay big money when you reinforce their prejudices.

He could have taken a liberal tack instead of a conservative one—when you’re commercializing ideology, the content of the ideology doesn’t matter that much—but conservatives are far more gullible. There isn’t anyone in Hawai’i who doesn’t believe Barack Obama was born there, but in the other 49 states, maybe he’s a foreigner!

As P.T. Barnum said, there’s a sucker born every minute. And Murdoch has simply exploited that.

What does he care if his lie-telling paralyzes democracy?

He doesn’t, which makes him the Worst Person in the World. Osama bin Laden is chump change by comparison. Bin Laden’s too damn dumb to realize that the way to bring down America isn’t to fly airplanes into skyscrapers, but to undermine it from within—to use its capitalist system for ultimate profit. Billions of dollars are a lot more satisfying than 72 mythical virgins in heaven, especially when you can get someone else to do your dirty work. Suicide bombers are cheap and easily amortized.

The British and Australian media told us exactly what would happen when Murdoch invaded America. Still, U.S. media and politicians are awestruck by the teabaggers, As Seen on TV. “But wait, there’s more!”

You can never go wrong underestimating the intelligence of the American people.

That’s the saddest aspect of this, but democracy exposes us to this very danger, Rule by the Stupid.

Beck’s got the ratings, while Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow do not. (Murdoch’s making a big mistake not giving Beck the prime-time slot of the eclipsed has-been Bill O’Reilly. Make money, Rupert, don’t be a loser.)

Maddow’s amazingly brilliant, a genius at what she does, an incredibly facile talker and analyst, easy on the eyes to boot. Why is she stuck on MSNBC?

Olbermann’s good too, though he does get overwrought at times. He writes well, but his delivery is over the top, even for liberals.

MSNBC, the not-Fox network, proves Murdoch’s thesis that there’s more money in right-wingnuttery than in left-wing. He’s just looking to make a buck, and he’s good at it.

Meanwhile we’re led by Barack Hussein Obama, the madrassa-trained Kenyan Black man born of a White mother in our distant-most state, where it’s still morning when the New York Stock Exchange shuts down for the day. He fancies himself a Lincoln, but hasn’t the courage of Honest Abe to tell the truth. He’s surrounded himself with toadies (Geithner, Rahm Emmanuel) who should be fired at once. Bring back Volcker, you idiot! He’s the one man who really understands this economy, where Wall Street robs every taxpayer.

Lincoln was cautious at times like Obama is; he kept bringing back McClellan, a failed general who trained incessantly but wouldn’t fight; three times Lincoln foisted McClellan on us and three times he fired him, until McClellan ran against him in the ultimate act of disloyalty, the presidential election of 1864. How many times do you gotta learn this, Abe?

How many times, Barack? When will you fight?

Meanwhile Fox “News” continues to lead the cable ratings, and Western democracy itself gets Murdoched. Brit Hume says Tiger Woods should convert to Christianity, and the Gay-haters at Stand Firm (another commercial enterprise) eat it up.

I believe in Jesus Christ, but I don’t believe in TV flacks pimping for him.

Consider the source; Murdoch made money the instant Hume opened his mouth.++

2 Responses

  1. Dear Josh, I feel like I should address this to Edward R. Murrow,

    You rock and roll your version of the neo-
    UnAmerican Activities exposed by unsavory politicos/business men!

  2. Great Blog!

    There might be global warming or cooling but the important issue is whether we, as a human race, can do anything about it.

    There are a host of porkies and not very much truth barraging us everyday so its difficult to know what to believe.

    I think I have simplified the issue in an entertaining way on my blog which includes discussion on the CO2 issue and climategate.


    Please feel welcome to visit and leave a comment.



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